Let’s get one thing straight: I’m not here to whisper sweet nothings about Apple’s next quarter or argue over whether Tesla’s latest steering yoke is a design revolution or just another way to spill coffee in your lap. No, today we’re going where the big institutional suits don’t want you to look—into the murky, neglected underbelly of the stock market. The land of value traps, forgotten cash cows, and dividend yields so high you’d think they were illegal in 37 states.
Because let’s face it—growth investing is a dopamine rush until it isn’t. One day you’re a genius for buying Nvidia at $300, the next day it’s tanked 15% because some analyst said their AI chip might have competition in 2027. Welcome to volatility. Meanwhile, the dividend nerds are out here collecting checks like it’s a hobby with health insurance.
So today, I’m giving you two outrageously undervalued high-yield stocks I’m buying right now. Not because they’re sexy. Not because they’re trending on Reddit. But because they’re stupidly cheap, quietly profitable, and paying me fat dividends to hold them while the market figures out they still exist.
Let’s dive in.
Stock #1: Medical Properties Trust (MPW) – The Zombie That Won’t Die, and That’s a Good Thing
Ticker: $MPW
Dividend Yield: ~12% (Yes, seriously)
Price-to-FFO: Basically “Are you kidding me?”
Market Cap: $3.2 billion and change
Oh look, it’s Medical Properties Trust—everyone’s favorite REIT punching bag. The company whose name you only remember when Twitter's finance bros need a scapegoat for why their “high yield” portfolio is down 40%.
Let’s get the bad stuff out of the way first, because there’s plenty.
MPW owns hospitals. That’s its whole schtick. They’re one of the largest owners of hospital real estate in the world, and their entire existence depends on operators (tenants) paying rent. Over the past two years, a few of those tenants have decided rent is optional. Not exactly great for business. Enter hospital bankruptcies, credit downgrades, asset sales, and bearish sentiment hotter than a Reddit thread titled “MPW TO $0.”
So why am I buying this mess?
Because the pessimism is overcooked.
Let’s start with the fundamentals. MPW has been selling off underperforming assets, refinancing debt, and restructuring lease agreements to shore up cash flow. In 2023, they made over $2 billion in asset sales and trimmed exposure to their most problematic tenant, Steward Health Care. Yet the stock still trades at barely 4x forward FFO. For comparison, most decent REITs trade closer to 12–15x.
Translation: the market has priced in total doom. Not just bad news—Armageddon. Like MPW is going to be bulldozed into the earth and turned into a parking lot.
Here’s where the opportunity lies. Even assuming MPW cuts its dividend in half (which, by the way, they already did), you’re still looking at a 6%+ yield on a REIT that owns billions in real estate, is actively cleaning up its mess, and still generates consistent FFO.
I’m not saying MPW is the next Prologis. But at $3–4 per share? This is blood-in-the-streets pricing. And as Lord Baron Rothschild famously didn’t say, “Buy when Twitter finance is crying into their oat milk.”
MPW’s story isn’t over. It's just deep in its redemption arc.
Stock #2: Altria Group (MO) – Sin Pays. Sin Always Pays.
Ticker: $MO
Dividend Yield: 9.3%
P/E Ratio: 8.2
Market Cap: $73 billion
Dividend History: More loyal than your ex promised to be
Every time I mention Altria in polite company, someone tries to cancel me. “You’re supporting cigarettes! Think of the children!” Meanwhile, that same person is holding Coca-Cola stock and binge-watching Ozempic commercials between sips of aspartame.
Hypocrisy aside, Altria is one of the most consistent cash machines on the planet. Say what you want about their product lineup—cigarettes, nicotine pouches, and a questionable stake in Juul—but these folks print money. And they share the love with a dividend north of 9%.
Let’s walk through the numbers.
Altria has raised its dividend 58 times in the past 54 years. No, that’s not a typo. They’ve over-delivered on dividend hikes. Even during recessions. Even during litigation hell. Even when Juul turned into the millennial Fyre Festival of vaping.
They also operate at gross margins most companies would sell their corporate souls for: 70%+. That’s right—every pack of Marlboros costs them peanuts and prints dollar bills.
“But Antonio,” I hear you say, “Smoking is dying. This is a melting ice cube!”
Sure. And yet 28 million Americans still light up. People said the same thing 15 years ago. Guess what? Altria has still doubled their dividend and bought back billions in shares. Why? Because while their volume declines, they raise prices. Smokers are addicted, inflation is real, and Big Tobacco knows their customers better than TikTok knows your sleep schedule.
Even better? Altria’s pivot to non-combustibles is gaining traction. Their on! nicotine pouches are growing. They’ve partnered with NJOY for vaping (the grown-up version of Juul). And they're investing in cannabis and heated tobacco in ways that make them look more like a nicotine tech company than a 1950s ad campaign.
Here’s the kicker: The stock trades at 8x forward earnings. That’s clown-car cheap. The S&P trades at nearly 20x. So you're getting an almost double-digit yield, a fortress of cash flow, and a management team that worships the dividend—all at a massive discount.
Why These Stocks? Why Now?
In one word? Sentiment.
Both MPW and MO are hated. Not ignored—hated. Which, for long-term investors, is like hearing the ice cream truck backing into your driveway.
Everyone wants the clean, shiny stuff: Nvidia, Apple, Amazon. And I get it. Growth stocks are fun. They promise the moon and occasionally deliver Mars. But the market eventually reverts to fundamentals. It always does. And when it does, these forgotten dividend stocks will be standing there like that one guy at the reunion who invested in Costco in 1992 and never shut up about it.
MPW and MO are deep-value plays with cash flows you can set your watch to and dividends fat enough to make a cardiologist cry.
Are they without risk? Hell no.
MPW could bungle its turnaround and end up on REIT life support. Altria could continue bleeding volume or get hit with new regulations.
But here’s the key: the risks are already priced in. These stocks are being traded like they’ve already gone bankrupt, even though they’re both profitable and still paying out investors like it’s the golden age of Wall Street.
How I’m Playing It
I’m not going all-in. I’m not mortgaging the house or selling my index funds. But I am dollar-cost averaging into both positions. Slowly. Deliberately. And with the smug satisfaction of someone buying a dollar for 60 cents while everyone else is fighting over overpriced tech stocks.
Here’s my strategy:
1. MPW – I’m nibbling under $4/share. Anything above $5 and I chill. I’m reinvesting the dividends and treating this like a 3–5 year turnaround play.
2. MO – I’m building a long-term income position. This is a stock I want to DRIP (dividend reinvestment plan) until retirement, because Altria isn’t going anywhere. If it dips below $40, I’m buying more aggressively.
Bonus: What Could Go Right?
Let’s flip the script. What happens if things don’t collapse?
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MPW stabilizes its tenants, sells some more assets, and surprises everyone with a dividend hike in 2026. Suddenly, it’s trading at $9 instead of $3 and CNBC is writing redemption stories.
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MO nails its next-gen nicotine portfolio, stops writing giant Juul-sized checks, and starts growing revenue again. Suddenly, Wall Street remembers it’s a free cash flow monster, and the stock rerates to a P/E of 12–14. That’s a 50% upside on valuation alone.
And in the meantime, you’re collecting a dividend check big enough to fund your next Costco run.
The Bottom Line
Look, you can chase whatever shiny object the market is dangling this week. That’s fine. Have fun. Just don’t forget there’s a whole world of unloved, undervalued, and outrageously profitable companies sitting in the corner like wallflowers at a high school dance.
MPW and MO are two of them. They may not trend on Reddit. They may not double overnight. But they’re real businesses, paying real money, available at fire-sale prices.
And sometimes, that’s exactly what your portfolio needs.
So go ahead, keep buying AI startups with no profits and hoping the Fed says something dovish. I’ll be over here, sipping my dividend like a fine whiskey and waiting for the rest of the market to wake up.